Deep Breath - there is so much more to Mozambique than struggle

This is why I'm here.

You know, I was thinking about it, and I haven't said how dang incredible this place is. The people are so friendly and incredibly cordial. The food is delicious. More seafood than I could have asked or imagined. Last night I ate a crab the size of a small dog. Never before have I had to crack a shell that was more like a bone--you can measure the shell thickness in millimeters, for goodness sake. The
feel is that you're in a place that not many people outside of here have experienced. As I was going through the villages, I was giddy seeing history. It was painted with bustling people going to purchase their locally grown vegetables. The markets sat below a roof of a mixed group of grocery bags and straw--all held up by dried pieces of wood. The experience is truly organic. Imagine visiting a place that you feel that an outside lens is seeing for the first time. Everywhere I went, I am truly foreign. You have no idea how amazing that feels. This land is theirs, their lives are theirs. They live amongst their own and have truly lived out their own lives. They do it all--almost completely void of American or Western influence. ahhh. so awesome. There are so many thoughts that I carry with me and take up every moment to tell my billions of stories. The experience that I had in Mozambique will never leave me. The amount of information that I have to share has quadrupled as I process more and more of the things that I've learned and experienced. I want to shout it from the rooftops and explain to everyone what I have within my head. SO,

I feel as if this is probably the best way to express some of the problems, collectively that I have seen here. Here is a series of conversations that talks about the problems that have been recorded. Thoughts together, and the dialogue begins. Here is what I aspire to continue to do from here on out until my thesis is written and everything comes together.

K: holy [expletive deleted] those kids are flipping out

6:18 AM me: i know!

hahah

they were so psyched

and i was just standing there w/ my camera

6:19 AM i was doing absolutely nothing but walking around there w/ the camera

6:21 AM i havent seen it yet, though

not since that day

i mean.. when i recorded it

and i cant stream videos here

internet's too bad

6:22 AM K: haha... they're definitely on the point of rioting

no idea what you did to elicit that respons

e

me: hahah

they just crave attention like no other

they sit in classrooms of at least 150 kids

6:23 AM and they are never individualized

they crave so much attention

each one of them just wants you to know their name

it's crazy

K: wow... what an awful existence

6:24 AM me: i dont know

i dont know, often what i'm doing here

but for some reason i need to be here

it's so overwhelming

no running water

5 doctors for 675000

no money

no education

no english

6:25 AM but they have the beach :)

and they have a warm climate :)

and really really really great coffee and cheap drinks :)

i have to focus on the good...but damn

the only commerce their is, is cocacola, cell phones

6:26 AM and then whatever restaurant is open

...and this is in the city!

craziness...but yeah...the rural areas are a whole 'nuther world

K: honestly i can't imagine

6:27 AM i've seen my share of sprawling, wrenching urban poverty, but never been outside of major cities

…FROM A CONVERSATION W/ “C”, talking about the problems with building up a common good,

Me: tellin her [my mom] about africa

and how the communist mentality here is really sad

b/c no one works together

esp ppl in positions of power

they're only out for themselves

it's sad

really sad

the local level are the only way this place is gonna change

C: power corrupts

me: to raise up ppl untainted

from the wicked powers that be

C: interesting

dang you sound like che

me: friggin communism did the exact opposite w/ the mentality than it was trying to aid

C: revolucion!

me: does that sound like che?

communism messed up the idea of the common good for everyone

no everyone in power is more individualistic than ever

it's the exact opposite of what they wanted

C: communism could never work because of the corrution of man

its a good idea in theory

me: but now it's left this country in such a terrible position

no one's willing to help anyone w/o some sort of payment

it sucks

they all expect something from you

whether it be money, food, power

it's crappy

there's no common good

C: so how do propose a change?

me: rise up the chitlins

teach them to work together

to help themselves

not wait for a handout

they also have a huge reliance upon aid

it sucks

C: so thats why you want to do like that education ministry. that makes sense

that would be awesome

me: precisely

but i had no idea that would be the solution

i was just tryin to meet a need w/in a small community

i never knew about this sort of mentality

for instance

today

we went to the university to find a local professor for me to connect to

just in case i need a local contact if i get the fulbright

someone to express interest in my research project and to say that maybe if i needed it, i could use their library or something

or ask them questions

anyways,

i met the head of the community health dept

and he was like, to the effect of, 'that's all good and great, but what are you doing to help me'

and the whole point is to build a community health education

just for the people

and he was like, 'you need my help, so what will you give me?'

C: wow

me: and he's an educator!

totally crazy

C: like direct quote?

me: pastor joao tried to explain this to me

it's a war mentality

they all think this way

esp ppl in positions of power

it's just the way it is... it's the culture

C: that is sad

me: they all expect something

they dont just help you to help you

even the govt official we were with earlier on traveling in matola

C: no sense of an inate good?

me: we fed him and gave him $

C: wow

me: or else he wouldnt have continued to help us

there would have been no reason, in his mind to help us

that's typical

C: and what was he doing to help you?

me: there's no common good

i'm sure the innate goods are there

but they dont see how helping the whole community will, in turn, help them

very few ppl think in that way

they want immediate results or are trying to get a handout

another story:

sorry: he was taking us around to the other govt offices

and getting us into the offices of other important govt officials who knew him

it's totally about who you know and who has power

if you have power you can get around here

if not, you need money

and if you have neither, you're done.

another story:

i guess around the time the war ended

there were a lot more foreigners entering this country trying to help the people recover

anyways, i guess there was this group of italian dudes that raised enough money

the equivalent of like millions of dollars

to fix the road system

anyways, by the time they were prepared to do the roads and had prepared everything from italy

they got to mozambique

and they got nickeled and dimed and hassled so much that they finally couldnt put the project on

and they met so much opposition to the project

and everyone wanted a handout b/c they knew they had money or whatever

that finally they had to leave

C: they had to pay off all the officials?

thats crazy

me: no one saw that putting a road up would help everyone

and that it was absolutely necessary

to fix that first

and they ended up having to leave

the reason why one of the missionaries here met them

C: so are their roads really bad?

me: is b/c they flagged them down from the side of the road

an area they had all volunteered to live on

b/c they wanted to help

and they were just spending the money on buying passers-by café mochas

and such

b/c they didnt want the money to go to corrupt govt officials

crazy, right!??!

anyways, yeah, aside from the main highways and inner-city roads in maputo, the roads suck

major potholes and such

C: so is hard for a missionary to stay there because of the corruption

me: i mean, it's just discouraging

b/c you wonder what really changes

b/c everyone's been here trying to help for so long

C: so is hard for a missionary to stay there because of the corruption

me: i mean.. missionaries arent really working w/ all of the corruption

most missionaries are working w/ the people

or trying to

i mean, that's the point

not to really work w/ the corrupt officials, i suppose

it's the foreign govts that talk to them the most

they have the money, remember?

hahah

C: they never get exploited for church earnings or anything?

me: not that i know of

i mean most of these dudes arent at the local leve

l

even the govt officials at the local level are really poor

their buildings are falling apart

their kids are still sick

they still have to live w/ the crappy hospitals

and lack of doctors

so i mean.. when we say corrupt... i mean.

it's a slippery slope

you wonder if their 'power' is somewhat of a thing that has been earned

like the guy we worked with

it was just understood that we would pay him afterward

that's his job

to take ppl like us around

C: almost a mob mind set

me: he provides us a service

and gets paid for it

C: mafia mindset rather

me: but the idea of it being a government, or common good

is not the thought process

it's not a collective uplifting process

yeah i mean, my mafia lessons have come from casino, scarface, the godfather and goodfellas

C: haha put lightly

me: so if it's that way.. i mean

C: do we have an embassy there?

me: yeah but that's another crappy story

so yeah we have an embassy

and the US govt basically controls 70% or more of all of the money that comes into this country

basically because it's all aid money

the government has nothing

so 70% of the ENTIRE country's economy

that's 'growing'

the US controls

craziness

anyways so yeah, we have an embassy

and like 90% of the money coming is from us

anyways

so there is a charge d'affairs

and he is the acting 'ambassador'

there is no one in line to be the ambassador

so basically no one makes decisions for this country

basically the charge d'affairs tries to delegate all of the decision making to all of the parties that are looking to him for answers

basically w/o an ambassador, they cannot do anything

and there is likely to be no ambassador until the new administration is in

b/c they have to be approved by congress or something really ridiculous that has nothing to do w/ the needs here

anyways, the workers here, like for USAID are friggin pissed off b/c they can't get anything done and practically all of them disagree w/ the charge d'affairs

and his incapacity to make decisions.

not to mention that their budget for 'health'

C: but he is still getting money right

me: which is what i was most interested is around $90mil

C: aid money i mean

me: yeah, everyone gets paid

so the health budget is $90m

"health"

yet the HIV/AIDS budget is $220mil

C: and what does that money go to

me: explain to me how that works?

so there's this lopsided spending

that the US govt imposes on the health system in this country

to do its bidding in 'eradicating aids' by 2015 or whatever

however the hospitals here have no running water, no medical supplies, no doctors, no ambulances, no medications, no tools, no trained ppl, not enough educated people, etc etc etc

so when they only have $90mil that they must spend on "health"

and $220mil on HIV/AIDS

it gets extremely fishy

b/c all of a sudden you train like everyone to treat HIV

and there's no lines for that

and anyone that's HIV+ can go right into hospitals

and have like 10ppl waiting on them

but i have malaria or cholera and i have to wait 5hours to see a doctor or nurse or even get a bed

C: i see

me: then ppl are going to get pissed

C: and you could die by then

ok

me: and wonder who has to infect them with aids for them to get some damn service

C: you made it make sense now

me: yeah.

C: it's kind of like get your priorities rigth

me: so there is absolutely no capacity for a program like hiv/aids who has a ton of money

but the rest of it cannot be uplifted with it

and we're trying to 'eradicate aids'

but we cant even get them a sanitation program

or teachers

or doctors

or running water?!??

i mean.. c'mon

i just wonder what the hell they've been doing all this time

w/ their millions upon millions of dollars

i was sitting in a conference room telling a USAID worker about the problems in Matola

he had no idea they had no running water after 11am

in the HOSPITALS

in the GOVT BUILDINGS

that there was ZERO sanitation program

i was sitting there telling him they had 6 doctors for 675,000 people

he had no idea

he had no idea it was that bad

C: oh my gosh

me: I'M TELLING HIM, the AID WORKER

C: wow

thats seriously insane

me: yeah... it's seriously devastating

C: all bet

me: you wonder what the heck is happening

what we're doing with ourselves

as i sit here

typing...

and yet, they're happy

sigh

there's literally no water, C

no running water

you wanna know how it works?

there are people that make a business out of it.

C: it's so hard to imagine that

me: they go to the pipes that do have running water

C: pumps?

me: and they bring several large bottles

and they fill them all up

they usurp the water supply

and they sell the water

the people dont know if the water's good

it could be cholera-infested

C: wow

me: it could be unpotable, but it's all they've got

they have no choice but to buy it

C: and drink it

me: and they walk countless kilometers to get to it

C: and wash with it

me: exactly

C: isn't so hard to imagine no running water

we're so spoiled

what do we complain about…

Conversation #3 – In regards to Witch Doctors and Magic

me: oh yeah, i meant to tell you about sunday!

so we had church and such

and it was really great

so then afterward

we got together w/ all of the church leaders

and had a huge lunch

(i had to eat some sort of beefy tripe/insides)

anyways

so yeah after that they were going to do some more church building stuff

and before they left for that, the church leaders came up to pastor joao to ask him what they should do w/ the things they collected through the week

and i was like, 'what kind of things'

?

anyways, turns out the church members had brought some of their old relics that the witch doctors had given them for certain spells and such

so like there before me was like this huge pickle sized jar

filled w/ brown alcohol

and dead snakes

it was soooo creepy

as well as other jars filled with beans and other weird black stuff as well as some other random bottles and such

so they prayed and burned it all to get rid of the evil magic or whatever

Chris: wow

me: and i was like, 'wow...there is absolutely no way i can comprehend this'

I WILL RETURN TO MOZAMBIQUE. ahhhhh! Can't wait!

witchcraftery. we find dead snakes in a jar--a means of using some 'magic spells' witchcraft. There's no real way to try to comprehend another world--another belief in this form of living and protecting one's self. This is Africa.